Time Passages

By Charles Euchner

Years ago, I discovered something startling. As I pulled out of a gas station, the rearview mirror fell off the windshield of my car. I drove on, not realizing how much I would miss my view of the road behind. If I need to see behind me, I reasoned, I can use the side-view mirror. But within a couple miles, I found driving impossible. I pulled over, found some Superglue, and stuck the mirror back on the windshield. The rest of the trip was easy.

The rearview mirror gave me the sense of space I needed to continue my journey. I didn't have any real sense of where my car was -- or where it was going -- without knowing what was behind me. To act well in any one space, you need to know what's behind and in front.

In The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life (Free Press, 2008), Philip Zambardo and John Boyd apply that lesson to our experience of time. 

The most important factor defining our attitude toward life, Zimbardo and Boyd write, is our orientation toward time. Each of is biased, in positive or negative ways, toward the past, present, or future. Many of the problems we experience -- with relationships, work, money -- come from being too biased toward one attitude toward time. To live a good life, we need to balance our experiences of time.

Zimbardo and Boyd describe seven major orientations toward time:

• Past-Positive: A romantic view of the past, which casts experiences with family, church, school, work, and play in golden hues. Past-Present people feel secure and happy because they feel grounded. They are not stuck in a miserable past, but energized by a strong sense of self. The downside: Past-Positives have a hard time building a better life than they experienced.
• Past-Negative: A bitter and angry view of the past, which puts the blame for all present failures on people and events from long ago. Past-Negative types endlessly remember moments when they got unfair treatment. They have a hard time focusing on the present or future because they are obsessed with the crippling effects of the past. Sadly, the past cripples only when we get stuck in regret or anger about what happened. 
• Present Hedonism: A happy but somewhat shallow attitude about everyday life. The Present Hedonist does not think much about past or future. He cares mostly about what pleasure he can derive from the moment. The Present Hedonist is often the life of the party. But he can be irresponsible, both to himself and others.
• Present Fatalism: A view that nothing you every do can every change anything. Present Fatalists feel powerless because they do not have the grounding of the past-Positive or the goal-orientation of the Future-Oriented. Fatalists let people walk all over them. Every time someone exploits them, they feel even more fatalist.  
• Holistic Present: Imagine the mindset of the Dalai Lama, and you udnerstand this ideal. The Holistic-Present person lives in the moment, capable of appreciating the joys and pains of the present without anger or fear. This type blends together a focus on what he can do, right now, with a strong grounding in the past and a realistic attitude of the future. This person understands that the only moment he can act is right now, and that small actions can produce positive effects. 
• Future-Oriented: The most ambitious type, at least according to our Western notions of power, fame, and achievement. The Future-Oriented person is capable of delaying gratification to build a better tomorrow. He works hard, every day, to open up new possibilities. 
• Transcendental Future:  A deeply spiritual perspective, which sees life as just part of a greater cosmic reality. The Transcendental-Future type lives well in this world, balancing past, present, and future, but also looks forward to something even better in the hereafter. Martin Luther King's "Mountaintop" speech is powerful testimony to this attitude.

As Zimbardo and Boyd argue, most of us contain elements of each of these types. The question is how much. 

Many of our problems, in careers and relationships, stem from overloading one of the three major time orientations. When we are Past-Negative, we get stuck in a period where we can do nothing. When we dwell too much in the past, we don't have the time or perspective to engage the present or prepare for the future. We criticize, condemn, and complain about people who "done us wrong." And -- surprise! -- no one wants to be near us.

Zimbardo and Boyd point to Sonja Lyubomirsky's The How of Happiness for specific actions we can take to develop the positive aspects of past, present, and future orientations.

To get a healthy sense of the past:

1. express gratitude, 
2. avoid overthinking and rumination, and 
3. learn to forgive.

To get a healthy sense of the present:

4. practice acts of kindness,

5. nurture relationships,

6. increase flow experiences, 

7. savor life's joys, and

8. take care of your body (with meditation).  

To get a healthy sense of the future:

9. cultivate optimism,

10. develop coping strategies, 
11. set and pursue life goals, and 

12. take care of your body (with exercise).  

To pursue a more transcendental approach toward the future:

13. practice religion or cultivate spirituality. 

More about Zimbardo and Boyd's fascinating tour of time in future posts.